


Scavenger Hunt

by My_Young_Friend



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-24
Updated: 2009-11-24
Packaged: 2017-10-03 16:26:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Young_Friend/pseuds/My_Young_Friend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The game is afoot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scavenger Hunt

House was on the prowl. It was near lunchtime, and he was hungry. The Oncology lounge was surprisingly empty when he entered and strolled over to the refrigerator. He wouldn't have cared if the whole department had been in there. No-one ever tried to stop him. He liked to think of this as a public service. No-one wanted to see a paunchy Wilson, and House stealing his lunch kept him lean.

He found the familiar box near the back. Tuesday was salad day, and House opened the container. He was surprised to find it full of leaves. Not iceberg or rocket leaves, but oak and sycamore. House slowly raised his head, imagining Wilson standing behind him with a self-satisfied look. But the lounge was still empty. He inspected the contents of the box again. Rummaging through the leaves he found a Post-It note on the bottom

 

_No salad today, felt like something different. JW_

~~~

 

House limped to the cafeteria, his mood somewhere between amused and annoyed. He was a little old for scavenger hunts, but he was inclined to play along with this. Scanning the tables, he saw no sign of Wilson. It was only 12:15 and Wilson always ate at 12:30. He could get a coffee and steal Wilson's lunch when he arrived. He joined the line, but as he bought his coffee, the cashier smiled at him strangely. She conscientiously handed him a paper napkin and turned away after he paid, shoulders shaking slightly. House looked at his espresso suspiciously, and decided he had had enough caffeine today. He sat at a table with a clear view of the door, and prepared himself for the wait. Opening the napkin for some off-the-cuff origami, he smiled despite his frustration at the note inside.

_Not in the mood for cafeteria food either. JW_

 

House shook his head and maneuvered himself off the seat. No salad and no hot food meant lunch in Jimmy's office. This was normally some sort of cereal; harder to steal, but not impossible. He limped towards the elevator and pressed the call button. Wait. No, the office was too obvious. He'd get there and find another damn note. He punched the floor for the clinic instead.

~~~~

 

The clinic was a good idea, House conceded. It meant walking past Cuddy's office, Nurse Brenda and into the clinic itself. Three potentially hazardous and work‑producing activities. House sidled past Cuddy's office, attracting no attention from its occupant. Brenda was occupied with an incompetent nursing student, and he was able to sneak past the desk unnoticed. Once in the clinic he began to explore the exam rooms. One and Two were Wilson free, but contained an unpleasantly advanced case of crabs and a mother with a baby "dying" of a cold. He ignored the occupants of both and made his way to exam room Three. This was the last place for Wilson to hide. He opened the door with a flourish.

"Thanks for the tour of the hospital, but next time I'll stick with an approved guide." House felt vaguely disappointed that his wit was wasted on an empty room. Another note was written in dry-wipe marker on the x-ray viewer.

 

_Smart, but not quite smart enough. JW_

~~~

 

House was frustrated by this point. It was 12:20; if he didn't find Wilson soon, he'd have no chance of stealing lunch. He contemplated appropriating Cameron's sandwiches instead, but she'd probably think it counted as a second date. Foreman always ate in the cafeteria with that vapid girlfriend of his, and Chase ate that awful Australian food. Cuddy survived by draining the life-force out of any doctor foolish enough to cross her path, so that was her out too. _Nope,_ thought House, limping towards Wilson's office. _It's Jimmy or nothing_.

He barged into the office which was, as he'd expected, empty. He walked over to the desk and retrieved the box of cornflakes from a drawer. Also as expected, a note was stuck to the box.

 

_A little too obvious, don't you think? JW_

House opened the box and emptied its contents over the desk. He checked his watch. It was 12:31, and he'd been looking for Wilson for nearly half an hour. His leg was beginning to ache from all the walking, and he'd had enough. He limped back to his office and opened the door to the empty room.

 

"You're late."

Except that it wasn't empty. It contained a smug-looking Head of Oncology sitting behind House's desk with two sandwiches, a plate of fries and three chocolate chip cookies on a tray.

 

Wilson continued, "I was about to start without you!"

House glared at Wilson. He held up the serviette and two Post-It notes. "Your idea of fun?"

 

As he made his way to the desk, Wilson replied, "Public service. Thought you could do with the exercise." He was still grinning smugly, and House approached the desk and gestured for him to get out of his chair. Wilson obeyed, and walked round to the opposite side of the desk. House sat and grabbed a sandwich.

"Better be good," he grumbled.

Wilson said nothing, but continued to smile. As he reached for his own sandwich, House rapped him on the knuckles.

 

"Hey!"

"That's mine too."

 

"You already have a sandwich!"

"That's why I said 'too'."

 

"Well what am I supposed to eat?"

"Should have thought of that before you sent me 'round the hospital. Made me extra hungry."

 

"And you're going to eat all the fries and cookies too, I suppose?"

"You can have one of the cookies."

 

"How generous!"

"I am a benevolent dictator.

Wilson raised his eyebrows at the comment. "Right," he said, slightly annoyed "I'll just go and get my cereal then."

 

House watched him leave and leaned back, waiting for the inevitable and carefully leaving the second sandwich alone.


End file.
